Nova Calverley-Frye on Resilience, SoulCollage® & the Power of No

Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend Nova Calverley-Frye, a mother, actress, improviser, teacher, and artist, for a conversation about resilience, intuition, and learning to say no. They first met at Steph's pre-pandemic Valentine's gathering celebrating women, and later reconnected when Nova led SoulCollage® workshops at Steph's studio.

Nova explains SoulCollage®, an intuitive process of making your own personal oracle deck through collage and then "interviewing" each card. She shares how her Irish mother taught her plants and moon phases, how "The Mists of Avalon" shaped her feminism, and what it means to her to practice as an eclectic witch. Steph opens up about her own past running a metaphysical shop and her connection to Pele.

Then the conversation goes deeper. Nova shares her childhood with her biological parents, life in foster care, asking to be adopted at 15, and the mental health journey that led to a diagnosis that finally brought clarity. She talks about why overscheduling is a trigger, why "no" is a complete sentence, and why sharing hard truths doesn't make you "too much."

About Nova Calverley-Frye:

Originally from Cape Cod, Nova holds a degree in theatre performance from Idaho State University and has an extensive background in acting for stage and film, dance, improvisation, teaching, and mixed media art. She is a mother, SoulCollage® Facilitator, part-time teacher for the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, and can be found acting and improvising at various theatres across the Treasure Valley. In her free time, Nova enjoys reading, watching horror movies with her two teenage sons, and working in her various art journals.

Key Takeaways:

- Give yourself credit. Things you did "because they had to be done" may be the clearest proof of your resilience.

- SoulCollage® invites you to slow down, quiet your inner editor, and let your intuition speak.

- Your spiritual practice is yours. Intention and "do no harm" matter more than trends.

- Overscheduling can quietly erode your mental health. Slowing down is self-care, not laziness.

- "No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

- Sharing your story can be a mirror, giving others permission to recognize their own.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in distress, help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US and Canada), or text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line. International listeners should contact their local emergency services or a specialized regional crisis line.

Chapters:

0:00 Cold open: being "that kid" in class

0:50 Welcome + meet Nova Calverly-Frye

1:06 How they met: a Valentine's gathering of women

2:40 What is SoulCollage®?

5:00 Slowing down and letting intuition lead

7:22 Partnering on workshops + a monthly art night dream

9:02 How cards speak differently over time

10:09 Steph's astrology deep dive

13:16 What being a witch means to Nova

13:50 An Irish mom, plants, and moon phases

14:41 Foster care and a New England church

15:25 The Mists of Avalon, feminism, and flawed authors

16:13 Solstice traditions with her kids

17:26 Throwing out her runes, and finding her way back

18:23 Steph's shop days and online forums

19:08 Hawaiian spirituality, Pele, and Maui

21:07 Resilience, self-worth, and mental health

21:45 Learning to give herself credit

23:42 Asking to be adopted at 15

24:38 Her kids' advice: "Don't be so hard on yourself"

25:57 Therapy, smiling depression, and postpartum

27:11 A diagnosis that brought clarity

27:47 Overscheduling as a trigger

29:01 Her sons on the Hope Squad

29:57 Boys who hug and show emotion

32:06 Students "playing therapist"

33:21 Breaking generational silence

34:10 Steph on therapy and couples check-ins

35:41 The guilt of slowing down

39:32 A book club talk that changed her theater life

41:50 "No" is a complete sentence

43:43 Ron's advice: you're the only one who runs your business

44:30 Hustle culture vs. the European out-of-office

46:49 Phones, boundaries, and morning routines

50:54 Sharing hard truths without diminishing yourself

52:42 Telling her story at StoryStory Night

54:56 The stories we're not ready to tell

56:23 Leaving survival mode

57:08 Who is Nova at her core?

58:08 StrengthsFinder: woo, learner, and harmony

1:01:56 Frodo, Loki, and senior dogs

1:03:32 Wrap-up