Espresso in a Sea of Milk: Growing Up German, Finding Your People & Showing Up for Others

What does it mean to look like you fit in everywhere but feel like you belong nowhere? Angela Reish knows that feeling well.

In our third episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with her longtime friend Angela, a woman she first met through the belly dancing community years ago, who describes herself as "espresso in a sea of milk." On the surface, Angela looks like she checks all the "typical American girl" boxes. But scratch a little deeper and you'll find a woman forged by post-WWII German immigrants, four years in the US Air Force, a marriage of two radically different worlds, and a calling to show up for kids that nobody else sees.

Angela grew up in a house where the inside was Germany and the outside was America, and her parents never quite understood the threshold between the two. Her father, who lost his own dad to the war, spent part of his childhood in a work camp in postwar Germany. Her mother was bombed out multiple times before the family immigrated first to Canada, then to California. That Old World upbringing - strict, formal, blunt, and deeply regimented - shaped Angela in ways she's still unpacking.

Steph and Angela talk about the invisible weight of being raised between two cultures, how those roots show up in your parenting, your marriage, and even the way you end a phone call (Germans just... hang up). Angela shares her years in the Air Force, which fit her German wiring perfectly, and the rude awakening of re-entering civilian life where military experience was largely dismissed. She reflects on a marriage between two people who came from completely different worlds, and the hard, funny, real work of raising a son.

Then there's the work she does now. Angela is a nearly-full-time substitute teacher, and she has thoughts. She paints a vivid and honest picture of what teachers actually deal with, classrooms full of kids who are each a product of entirely different home lives, traumas, privileges, and cultures. She talks about finding her people in the theater and choir kids, creating a safe space for an LGBTQ+ student who told her she'd never met someone her age so open, and the quietly profound experience of working with the RISE program for nonverbal, special-needs students.

And yes, there's a bully story. A sophomore, a jacket from Chinatown, a school bus, and fifty kicks in the back. Angela tells it with the kind of humor and grace that only comes from having fully survived something.

At the core of this conversation is a woman who gives a damn - loudly, imperfectly, and without apology. Angela is proof that the most interesting people often look the most ordinary on the surface, and that showing up for others, even when nobody's paying you nearly enough to do it, is one of the most quietly radical things a human being can do.

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About Angela Reish:

Angela Reish’s journey is rooted in service, resilience, and growth. Gen X now 57, like the ketchup, she began her career in the Air Force before spending 25 years in the corporate world. In the past three years, she’s embraced a new chapter as a high school substitute teacher, continuing her commitment to making a difference.

Married for 28 years and proud of her German heritage, Angela brings a grounded perspective shaped by life experience, adaptability, and perseverance.

Chapters

00:00 – Welcome & Introduction

00:29 – How Steph & Angela Met Through Belly Dancing

04:10 – Angela on Watching Steph's Creative Journey

06:59 – "What Makes You Different?"

07:32 – Growing Up With German Immigrant Parents

09:50 – Father's WWII Story: A Family Shaped by War

12:12 – Immigration to Canada, Then California

14:43 – When the Inside of Your House Is Germany & the Outside Is America

19:53 – Living in Idaho for 21 Years as a Non-Native

21:10 – The International Perspective (ft. Reham)

23:09 – Marriage, Parenting & Clashing Upbringings

29:25 – Husband's First Trips Abroad

32:20 – The Air Force Years: Her Version of College

39:28 – Corporate America: HP, Micron & Silicon Valley Rules

42:17 – Becoming a Substitute Teacher Post-COVID

44:38 – What Teaching Actually Looks Like (What People Don't See)

48:39 – Elementary vs. Junior High vs. High School Energy

51:23 – Building Real Connections With Students

53:18 – Creating Safe Space for LGBTQ+ Youth

57:50 – The Bully Story: A Jacket, a Bus & Standing Your Ground

01:07:01 – The RISE Program & The Gift of Nonverbal Kids

01:11:59 – Being Dismissed as "Just a Sub"

01:15:53 – Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core?